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When Hollywood next comes to remake Bedazzled, the film that put posters of 60s screen siren Raquel Welch on every teenage boys bedroom wall, it will have to find a way to depict not just pride, envy, gluttony, lust (the glorious Ms Welch), anger, greed and sloth, but the excessive accumulation of wealth and six other deadly sins.
According to Bishop Gianfranco Girotti, head of the Vatican body which oversees confessions: %26quot;You offend God not only by stealing, blaspheming or coveting your neighbours wife, but also by ruining the environment, carrying out morally debatable scientific experiments, or allowing genetic manipulations which alter dna or compromise embryos.%26quot;
Given the churchs wealth and the difficulty some of its priests have had keeping their hands off younger members of their flocks, it is not surprising that the bishops pronouncements have drawn cries of hypocrisy.
But even leaving aside the obvious, his additions are unlikely to catch on. %26quot;The excessive accumulation of wealth%26quot; does not have quite the same ring to it as %26quot;greed%26quot;, though to the layperson it means the same thing, and %26quot;allowing genetic manipulations which alter dna or compromise embryos%26quot; is not quite as catchy as %26quot;pride%26quot; or %26quot;envy%26quot; or %26quot;sloth%26quot;.
The bishop would have been better advised to turn his mind to everyday sinning.
How about these?
Thou shalt not take junkets at the expense of the taxpayer if thou ist a retiring member of Parliament.
Thou shalt not expect to retain thy position as All Blacks coach if thou sacrifices all other rugby considerations on the altar of the Rugby World Cup and finishes a miserable seventh.
Thou shalt not shoot thy mouth off over honorary consulships yet to be awarded even if thou hast given half a million dollars to the Labour Party.
Thou shalt not attempt to force thy way into locked toilets or demand priority treatment at hospital after doing so, on the basis that thou ist a Black Cap. (It is easier, it appears, for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than for Jesse Ryder to get into a toilet via the window.)
Punishments for the original seven deadly sins included being thrown in a snake pit, being broken on the wheel and being forced to eat rats, toads and snakes. Bishop Girotti has not spelt out what he has in mind for his additions, but the appropriate punishments for other sinners are easily arrived at.
Junketing politicians should be required to surrender the return portion of their business- class tickets before heading overseas; All Blacks coach Graham Henry should be made to watch a replay of his teams loss to the French at least once every day till the next World Cup; expatriate billionaire Owen Glenn should be required to sit through every speech Prime Minister Helen Clark delivers between now and the election; and Ryder should be required to clean the toilets in the hospital where he abused staff.
If so, all could be confidently expected to mend their ways.

Tags: anc, before heading, business, cement, embers, Environment, lt, politician

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